Alistair Lattimore » Humour

Shh, The Dinosaur Is Asleep

Al — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 02:10:41 +0000

Returning home from work on Tuesday evening and Hugo meets me in the garage like normal. However instead of ”Hi Dad!” followed by something very interesting that he has been busting to tell me about, he raised his index finger to his mouth and said “Shhh, the dinosaur is sleeping!”.

At the time I had no idea what he was talking about until I walked inside and discovered his kids sized dinosaur costume sleeping on the tiles with a blanket – it makes perfect sense really, dinosaurs get tired too you know!

Angry Boys

Al — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 13:43:55 +0000

On Wednesday 11th May 2011, the ABC are going to unleash a 12 part mockumentary comedy series by Chris Lilley named Angry Boys. For those unaware, Chris Lilley first hit the scene on Big Bite in 2003 and later made mockumentaries of We Can Be Heroes and Summer Heights High. Angry Boys continues some of the characters from his previous work and pokes a whole lot of fun of what it is like being a teenager growing up in the 21st century. It is rated M and is going to be reasonably inappropriate in places but it is going to be really funny, Kath & Kim funny.

My Blackberry Is Not Working

Al — Sun, 27 Feb 2011 00:04:48 +0000

If you’ve having trouble watching the embedded video above, watch My Blackberry Is Not Working on YouTube.

How To Kill Paper Wasps

Al — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 13:51:08 +0000

Over the last couple of years, I’ve had several encounters with paper wasps and had varying levels of success in attempting to kill paper wasps as well.

In the last couple of weeks, there have been four different sets of paper wasp nests forming around the house. Two of the four were in really inconvenient places, such as above the back sliding door near the laundry and in the joint of our clothes line.

On the weekend, it seems like as good a time as any to try my hand at killing the paper wasps again. Last time I attempted it, I was armed with a can of Mortein and I can assure you, when I sprayed their nests – they were very unhappy.

Wanting to see if I could one up the paper wasps this time, I was armed with a can of Baygon Surface Spray and WK-40. You’re probably wondering what WK-40 is; well it is your garden variety WD-40, the spray lubricant with a thousand uses with an awesome new label provided by Andrew for my 27th birthday. The WK-40 was the key in avoiding getting bitten this time, as with the thin nozzle connected you can spray a tight stream of WK-40 for over 2 metres – great for distancing yourself from angry as hell paper wasps!

With a can in either hand & feeling a little like Peter Venkman from Ghostbusters, I walked up as close to their nests as I dared and coated them & promptly ran away as the wasps swarmed the area looking for something to string! As it turns out, WK-40 and Baygon Surface Spray is a lethal concoction with great knockdown power.

In each of the four paper wasp nests, I came out on top without getting bitten once. I’m sure WD-40 didn’t have killing paper wasps on their list of 1000+ things that their fantastic lubricant is good for!

Perfect Personalised Plates

Al — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 12:03:44 +0000

I love personalised license plates, not the standard ones you see with a couple letters and numbers – but the custom plates that let you have anything on it you like. I especially like custom license plates when they are clever or make me chuckle. On the way home from work today, I pulled along side a Bentley Azure T. For those that aren’t aware, Bentley make some of the finest motor vehicles in the world – they are big, plush and are generally speaking the most luxurious car you could imagine. Of course along with that luxury comes a luxurious price tag, don’t expect to get change from $500,000 even for a second hand one. With the lofty price tag in mind, I thought a personalised plate with DOUGH on it was fantastic!

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Who Said Kevin Rudd Doesn’t Have A Sense Of Humour

Al — Mon, 18 May 2009 12:58:19 +0000

For those not aware, the Prime Minister of Australia Kevin Rudd is an active Twitter user. That might come as a surprise to most, however with the better part of 44,000 people following his updates – he is gaining popularity all the time.

Today Kevin was at the Southern Cross Station in Melbourne investigating first hand what impact Federal funding has had on the facility and was, not surprisingly impressed with the improvements. While there, he tried to conduct an interview – which wasn’t as successful as it could have been due to location and timing:

Ever tried to do a press conference at Southern Cross station and compete with a locomotive for the microphone? Don’t try. Locos 1. Me 0.

I find little quips of information like that quite refreshing from our Prime Minister. For a long time, I’ve always considered our Prime Minsters to be all business and no play kind of men. Having Kevin Rudd write things like that really does remind me that he is just an ordinary bloke doing a job.

Kevin Rudd & The Australian Labor Party Victorious

Trivia

Al — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 09:08:11 +0000

The average small black ant can survive being microwaved. Related posts: Select, Option, Disabled And The JavaScript Solution Google Adsense & Text Link Ads Irony PostgreSQL Dynamic SQL & Quote_ident Gotchas Related posts:

Tracking Outdoor Pet Movements

Al — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:12:54 +0000

Ever wondered where you pet might go while outside, does he just laze about the house or does he prowl the neighbourhood. Apparently that question was just too much for Mr Lee, so he developed a set of utilities to solve that problem:

CatTrack: Affix a small GPS logging device to your favourite pet and when they return home for the night – you can download the GPS data and view the path/route within Google Maps.
CatCam: Affix a small camera to your favourite pet and actually see where they are. For those that don’t deal well with maps, you know who you are.
CatCam Live: Affix a small camera and wifi equipment to your animal to stream their pictures live, no more waiting for your animal to return home to download the pictures taken during the day.

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Travel With Chinese Girl

Al — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 12:21:03 +0000

While checking email today, I noticed a particularly funny piece of advertising:

Travel with Chinese Girl – www.ChnLove.com – Want fantastic Chinese trip with pretty Chinese lady? Find her now!

I wonder if they have an engrish type site for advertising golden nuggets?

Compelled

Al — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 11:33:37 +0000

When Claire and I are out and about at the shops, it is common to have people at payment counters ask what sex our unborn child is going to be – it’s great that they are interested. We’re happy to tell whoever is asking that we don’t know the sex of our child and that it is going to be a surprise. As soon as we’ve spoken those words, for some reason the people we’re talking to feel compelled to tell us the sex of our unborn child.

In the last eight months, I can’t count the number of times people have come up to Claire and said that she is having a boy or girl. Every time someone offers free advice on the matter, we ask them why we’re having a boy or girl and you get back reasonably consistent reasons that have a certain amount of wiggle room in them. As an example, common reasons are that your wife’s stomach is sitting high or low or that it is shape x or y. The wiggle room I’m talking about is that, different people suggest that sitting low is a boy or girl and likewise on the shape.

The other thing that I’ve noticed is that it tends to be older people that feel like guessing/telling us what sex our child is going to be. I got thinking about that the other day and it occurred to me that they might feel compelled to tell you the sex because in their day, being able to definitively know the sex of your child pre-birth wasn’t an option so it was normal to guess. I’m sure that the old wives tales were born by expecting parents asking their local doctors what sex their child was going to be (when he/she had no idea in the world) but felt obligated to come up with an answer and subsequently a reason.

What crazy theories have you heard about determining the sex of an unborn child without any scientific intervention?

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